7.23.14.

Wtnv + trees

(Source: i-would-hail-it, via fuckyeahwelcometonightvale)

4031

7.23.14.
  • me: I'm so cute
  • me 15 mins later: I hate myself
77236

the next time someone asks me about my experience with customer service, i want to explain to them how i spend all day, every day, calmly negotiating with a terrorist that speaks broken english (at best), tries to bite me if i cut his peach up in a way he doesn’t like and will bang his head against the wall for fun while i try not to bang my own head against it in frustration.

not to mention the five-plus years i literally listed out for you on the goddamned paper you’re holding in your goddamned hands.

7

p1013:

devildoll:

weteevee:

parents when they can’t get a hold of you: “i called TWICE AND YOU DIDN’T PICK UP”

me when i can’t get a hold of my parents: “I BROKE MY LEG. I CALLED UR CELL 11 TIMES, UR WORK PHONE 7 TIMES, AND SENT YOU 23 TEXTS, AND NO RESPONSE”

my parents: “wow sorry i was busy”

this never changes no matter how old you are

#one time I literally broke my leg

srsly. it never changes. ever…

…until you spend 9 months breaking yr ass growing them a grandkid INSIDE OF YOUR BODY which you then have to push out of yr frakking vagina… then SUUUUUDDENLY they’ll pick up after half a goddamn ring and ask ‘how’s my BAYBEEEE?' and you think 'aw, my mama looooves me’, but when you go to answer, they’re like ‘no no no, my GRANDBABY
and yr just like:

(Source: flygoing, via jaidkinf)

114328

7.22.14.

iguanamouth:

youre gonna look so goddamn cool

(via jaidkinf)

187714

7.22.14.

supermoclel:

are you ever in the middle of saying something or showing someone something and you realize that literally no one cares 

erry day, erry DAY, y’all.

(via jaidkinf)

387725

7.22.14.

Kids used to say it would take them, like, a week to get to the center of one of these bad boys. But I know the trick to gettin’ right to it.

(Source: spotyoubitch, via dailyilana)

262

7.22.14.
i’m throwing a bangin’ pity party for myself this afternoon. if anyone wants to come, whiskey is the preferred hostess gift.

i’m throwing a bangin’ pity party for myself this afternoon. if anyone wants to come, whiskey is the preferred hostess gift.

2

7.22.14.

starweilder:

trying to figure out someone else’s shower

image

(via supernaturally-seduced)

217832

7.22.14.

(Source: octopussoir-, via whiskey-jenna)

20875