Teaching kids to give handjobs since the 90s
You know you’re a lesbian when: You put your finger in it instead.
OH GOD, I ONLY EVER PUT MY FINGERS IN THEM.
I did both…
i did both. i also bent it, what does that tell me now
You kinky son of a bitch.
(Source: manda, via mydrunkkitchen)
i’m setting myself on fire
how do i achieve immortality and perfect eyebrows
(Source: elliecyrah, via supernaturally-seduced)
Oh you’ve redecorated…
I don’t like it
i acknowledge that this house has had a renovation, but given that it’s a stupid-ass renovation, i’ve elected to ignore it.